Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Episode 9: Flowers

Our host stops to smell the jacks.

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Friday, April 23, 2010

Garden Consequences

I regret to inform you that there was short-sightedness in my seeing to the Petunias' desire for companionship last week. Whilst their spirits were lifted, it has come to my attention that I neglected to think about the consequences of giving them special treatment, and it seems that I've upset the rest of the garden. Just this morning, I could've sworn one of my tulips drooped in response to my presence - clearly a cry for attention, from a being that sadly lacked means for proper expression. I must devote myself to the garden for the next few days, using my banjo to gently caress each leaf - as well as the very soil itself - with sultry noises. I have Elisha to thank for reminding me of the important role passionate musical production can play in the relationship between a man and his garden.

But fear not, fellow Greenfingered individuals; a new episode will be posted on Tuesday.

Until then,

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Episode 8: Tubers

Our host graciously tolerates a guest and talks about the significance of potatoes.

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Thursday, April 15, 2010

Petunia Melancholy

I would like to start this entry by apologizing to my viewership, for I am dreadfully sorry to have to admit that as a result of unforeseen circumstances, this Saturday will be devoid of a new episode of Kevin Carmichael's Greenfingers. I understand that that's the day that people expect it, but instead it will be released on a Monday, despite the fact that I'm aware that that isn't the same as Saturday at all. In the interest of full disclosure and getting the sympathies of those who will experience disappointment at the prospect of having to wait the extra couple days for my words, I will explain to you the events leading to this delay.

As I woke up this morning and began my early gardening ceremonies, the Petunias caught my eye. While the Petunias rarely fail to catch my eye, this was an instance when it was out of something other than a desire for pleasurable distraction. As someone with a deep feel for plants, it only took me a few seconds and a whiff of the air to notice something insidious was afoot. Further investigation confirmed my suspicions, it seems my Petunias have recently entered a stage of clinical depression. As plant-owners yourselves, I'm sure you can understand my need to prioritize this, and I don't need to tell you the level of distress one goes through when a flower has lost its exuberance, much less when the number exceeds one. I'm going to sleepover in the garden for a few nights to try to take their minds off things. Maybe get them some special fertilizer or another form of excitement; in fact, perhaps I will set up a television and we shall marathon Magnum P.I.! I'm certainly no stranger to the healing powers of basking in the warm light of television, especially when accented by the soothing tones of Tom Selleck's moustache.

So, until Monday.
Kevin Bartholomew Carmichael

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Episode 7: Gardening Insects

Our host speaks of those miniature workers and why we love them.

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Saturday, April 3, 2010

Episode 6: Fertilizers

Our host fertilizes the mind of the listener with his cinematic analysis.

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